„Who knows the depth of my sorrow, who can gauge it? I am imprisoned w…”
„Who knows the depth of my sorrow, who can gauge it? I am imprisoned within many straits, within various boundaries, and my spirit yearns for exalted expanses. My soul thirsts for God. The light of divine emanation is the life of my spirit. Great faith in God, without any natural, logical, conventional, or moral restraint, is the joy of my life. Everything that is defined is mundane relative to the supernal holiness that I seek. I am lovesick. How hard is study for me, how hard is it for me to adapt to the particulars. It is the seas that I love; the heavenly systems, for them I long. Uncover my eyes that I may behold wonders from Your Torah.”From Shemonah Kevatzim, III, 222
How astonishing to see such an outpouring of the heart from a giant of a rabbi like Rav Kook. How immense to see that a man who spent his whole life studying and engaged in Torah speaks of difficulty in his study.
What is this difficulty? Why does the Rav write of it?
Human beings differ, and each has his own source of vitality. Some find vitality in inner work, and some receive it from without. Some are filled with joy from their solitude, and some draw strength from a large, broad society.
A person must recognize his own strengths and know how to act from within them. This does not mean that a person who recognizes he is lazy should make peace with his laziness; rather, a person must seek out and find his source of vitality and give it a central place within his life.
When a person finds this place, he will succeed in harnessing even strengths that come less naturally and fluidly to him.
In this passage Rav Kook shares his own difficulty with the restraints of this world, with its boundaries and with the need to occupy himself with "smallness." His great soul wishes to embrace everyone, to love all of reality, to be a heavenly man connected to the heavens.
A pleasant day to all.
In memory of Rabbi Moshe Yehoshua Hager, the Vizhnitzer Rebbe, who passed away last night.
From the community archive of Mishpetei HaRav Kook — studying Rav Kook's teachings since 2011.